If someone is able to also let you know about their personal past to further understand how this experience might have triggered them, invite them to share that. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California. For any self-censure (like "I'm just such a stupid oaf!") In fact, the more you seek to advance God's kingdom on earth, the more spiritual warfare you will face in your life. Answer (1 of 4): The best practice is to say, "I am sorry I (whatever you did. 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, An Addiction Myth That Needs to Be Revisited, 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being, Never add insult to psychic injury by telling the person you offended: "That really shouldn't have bothered you; you're way too sensitive.". Are you up for that?". But they aren't your customer, either. That made me feel sad and this helped to feel happy again. For example, you could say to a service provider, Id like to continue hiring you, but I feel really uncomfortable when I hear that kind of language. Or to a relative, such as your child, you could say, I don't feel comfortable being around others when you speak that way., In a work environment, you can say, If I hear that word again, Im going to have to speak to our supervisor., In a family context, you can say, I think I will have to go home if you continue speaking like that.. Be sure to document everything, from the offensive remark to any conversations about it. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. ", "I have learned new ways of how some things can offend others and I understand better now. Sitting next to me a is woman who is 4 years older than I. To learn how to have an upfront conversation with an offensive person, read on. They have implicit biases. You can say, Im sorry, could you say that again? or Im not sure I heard you. By that I mean if they can't forgive you then try to be a better person every single day and everything you do from that day forward. When this happens, it can seem like the end of the world. We've all done it - blurted something out that we've immediately regretted afterward. Being understood is a powerful human need. Is that what youre trying to say?, You can say something like, The word you used has a specific meaning. You might say such further upsetting things as "That really shouldn't have bothered you: you're just way too sensitive," or "You're being totally ridiculous! {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e8\/Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e8\/Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg\/aid219277-v4-728px-Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"